Today half my heart flew almost 2,000 miles, & a 2 hour time difference away to California. I have been dreading this day for weeks on end, even though I knew it was coming. It’s already hard being 253 miles away from J as it is. The thought of almost 2,000 is scary sounding.
My anxiety has truly being winning these last few days leading up to his departure. I finally calmed down some last night as we slept a few hours away on the phone, before he set off on his week long adventure.
The thing i’m learning through this whole thing is that so far this situation is’nt as bad as my anxiety made me think it would actually be. All the what if’s can definitely take a toll on you & cause disagreements over petty things.
My anxiety had me thinking it would be the worst thing ever, Thinking things like: what if we grow apart? What if he does’nt contact me like he does when he is in Louisianna what if he forgets about me? etc. etc.
So far NONE of this negative thoughts have occurred, instead we have talked alot on video chat today, more than normal. I can honestly say i’m thankful for that. Thankful for him still being the same person in California that he is when he is in Louisianna. Thankful that he still loves and wants me just the same as if he were 253 miles apart, while he is currently almost 2,000.
I love that even though he is at home in California, he still knows the place where his heart calls home at the end of the day and that’s with me. That even from almost 2,000 miles away he still makes an effort. He makes an effort to let me know he’s got my back and without a shadow of a doubt knows I’ve got his. So even though half my heart is in California, almost 2,000 miles away, when this week long adventure is conquered, my heart will still completely choose him.
Come Home Soon My Love.
You are so worth the wait.